why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?

They can’t swallow because that’s gay

(Source: middleshiner-archive, via buddhaformoni)

326,777 notes
Do you think that your 16 year old daughter hasn’t masturbated already? Like, do you really think there’s anything in that scene that this chick hasn’t already tried when the lights go out at night, or in the bathroom, or in the tub, or with the shower head or something like that? I’m telling you, man, I’m not teaching this broad anything new. If I were to create a rating system, I wouldn’t even put murder right at the top of the chief offenses. I would put rape right at the top, and assault against women. Because it’s so insanely overused and insulting how much it’s overused in movies as a plot device, a woman in peril. That, to me, is offensive, yet that shit skates. Kevin Smith (director) on the ridiculousness of movies about sex receiving NC-17 ratings while extremely violent movies get by with R ratings.  (via idioticteen)

(via buddhaformoni)

11,309 notes




have you ever met someone who is like the human version of period cramps


I think this is the first time something has conveyed to me with true clarity just how bad period cramps are.

(Source: michaelgclifford, via jared-leto-holic)

332,004 notes
  • You: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mum."
  • Friend1: "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Friend2: "come back to bed"
  • Friend3: *various sex noises*
  • Friend4: "tell her I said hi"
  • Friend5: "Aye! Pass The Weed."
  • Friend 6: *blasting out curse words*
  • Friend 7: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON"
460,894 notes


I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between

(Source: whitedad, via coveryoureyes-thedevilinside)

586,518 notes